Today’s Self-Deprecating Observation

2

I’m sorry, but that’s impossible. It’s science man.

You wanna get really smashed tonight – take a little edge off your case of the Mondays? Play this little game:

  1. Go to a vegan-centric area, try a farmers market or co-op or picketing line outside of a circus
  2. Engage someone in a conversation about anything except food
  3. Drink if the person goes longer than two sentences without working in the fact they are vegan

I’m telling you – call in to work, delete your ex’s number, and find those pizza coupons cause you bout to get drunk.

A few weeks ago I was shoe shopping and a woman came up to the store clerk and asked her recommendation on the best way to affix a ‘vegan’ patch to her pumps. Oh, her leather pumps by the way. Then the very next day I told the checkout girl at the co-op that I brought my own bags and she said, “I like your canvas bags because they are vegan and I’m vegan.” WTF? Seriously? I mean, fist bump for your lifestyle choice, but no wonder so people think all vegans are douchebags. (Or maybe it’s because we fist bump people…hmmm)

Tone it down peeps. Yes, being vegan may be the most interesting thing about you. But what if the most interesting thing about a person was that they have orange pee? Or they dress up their pets for pageants? Or they do competitive whittling? Or maybe have just one ball? Would you want them to drop that info on you when you ask they how their day is going? Think about it.

(Okay, the competitive whittling is awesome. If anyone does that PLEASE go out of your way to make me aware of it and give me a pamphlet of ways to become involved.)

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2 comments on “Today’s Self-Deprecating Observation

  1. LMAO! It’s no different than when people come up and the second thing they say is what church/world religion/denomination they are and start preaching. Vegans can be even worse than missionaries when it comes to trying to convince everyone their way is the only right way. Not to bash vegans, I live with one and have been one myself, but preaching and pamphlet thumping tends to make people roll their eyes and look for the door rather than start a dialog and consider trying it for themselves.

  2. You know, your blog would be great if you’d just insert some humor now and then! (<— the sound of sarcasm)

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