You wanna get really smashed tonight – take a little edge off your case of the Mondays? Play this little game:
- Go to a vegan-centric area, try a farmers market or co-op or picketing line outside of a circus
- Engage someone in a conversation about anything except food
- Drink if the person goes longer than two sentences without working in the fact they are vegan
I’m telling you – call in to work, delete your ex’s number, and find those pizza coupons cause you bout to get drunk.
A few weeks ago I was shoe shopping and a woman came up to the store clerk and asked her recommendation on the best way to affix a ‘vegan’ patch to her pumps. Oh, her leather pumps by the way. Then the very next day I told the checkout girl at the co-op that I brought my own bags and she said, “I like your canvas bags because they are vegan and I’m vegan.” WTF? Seriously? I mean, fist bump for your lifestyle choice, but no wonder so people think all vegans are douchebags. (Or maybe it’s because we fist bump people…hmmm)
Tone it down peeps. Yes, being vegan may be the most interesting thing about you. But what if the most interesting thing about a person was that they have orange pee? Or they dress up their pets for pageants? Or they do competitive whittling? Or maybe have just one ball? Would you want them to drop that info on you when you ask they how their day is going? Think about it.
(Okay, the competitive whittling is awesome. If anyone does that PLEASE go out of your way to make me aware of it and give me a pamphlet of ways to become involved.)