Saturday brunch: Eggless Benedict

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Brunch benedict at Portobello in Portland, OR makes me feel both happy and inadequate at the same time…much like my high school years.

Brunch is just simply wonderful. A Folger’s-esque morning of flannel PJ’s,  slow drip coffee, and reading the newspaper supine on the couch still saturated in Friday’s musk. We flip through recipes, write down ingredients, take a quick trip to the store, come home, turn on Paul Simon’s Graceland on LP, and create a masterpiece.

The one downside to brunch that people don’t tell you is that you’re f’n STARVING by the time you get around to eating, and few things make me a more unpleasant person then being hungry. Evan is like my mother and always makes sure to have snacks stashed on his person to whip out when the wrath begins to swell. Besides running for your life from a murderer, nobody has more terror in their eyes then Evan when I say I’m getting a little hungry. Terror.

An actual murder almost happened this morning as brunch wasn’t completed until after 11:00 AM, and the buck-standard signs of a spiral were taking place – beginning with heavy sighs and progressing into my uttering of dark, sarcasm laden questions like, “You know what I love Evan? Doing your laundry then seeing it still piled up on the washer.” So instead of taking beautifully staged photos of our Tofu Benny to share on the blog, Evan’s unsteady hand was desperately handing me my plate and positioning the camera with a few fingers, taking one awful picture…thus the post of the tofu benedict from our trip to Portobello in Portland a few months back. Just for your comedic viewing pleasure, I will put the picture at the bottom of the post – that way you don’t have to become ill until after you see the ingredients. You are very welcome.

TOFU BENNY (from Vegan Brunch

Ingredients:

  • English Muffins (we like Ezekiel brand)

Hollandaise Sauce

  • 2 tbsp olive oil
  • 1/4 cup minced shallots
  • 1 1/2 cups unsweetened almond (alt) milk
  • 2 tbsp plus 1 tsp arrowroot
  • 1/4 cup white wine
  • 3 tbsp white wine vinegar
  • 1/4 tsp turmeric
  • 2 tbsp vegetable broth powder
  • 2 tbsp nutritional yeast
  • 1 tbsp lemon juice
  • 1/4 tsp salt

 Marinade

  • 1 tbsp soy sauce
  • 1/2 tsp ground mustard
  • 1 cup vegetable broth
  • 1/4 tsp arrowroot
  • 1 tsp black salt
  • 2 tbsp white wine vinegar
  • 2 tbsp olive oil

Tomatoes

  • 6 large slices beefsteak or heirloom tomatoes
  • Smoked salt to taste (or 1 tsp liquid smoke and a sprinkle of salt)

Prepare the tofu

Combine all the marinade ingredients in a large mixing bowl. Gently press the water out of the tofu then lay it on its narrow side and slice into three pieces lengthwise. Use a 3-inch cookie/biscuit cutter to cut out circles in the tofu. Marinate the tofu for at least an hour, but overnight is best. Begin to cook tofu while hollandaise sauce is cooling . Just pre-heat a cast iron pan over medium heat, coat with olive oil, and cook until golden brown on each side – about 15 minutes total.

Hollandaise Sauce

In a small pot, saute the shallot in oil over medium heat for about 3 minutes. In the meantime, mix the milk with the arrowroot in a measuring cup and stir until the arrowroot is dissolved then set aside. Add the white wine and vinegar to the shallots. Bring to a boil and cook for about 5 minutes until the liquid has reduced to about 2 tablespoons. While it’s reducing, add turmeric and broth powder to the mixture. Once it has reduced, add the milk to the pan and lower to medium heat. Whisk consistently for 5 – 7 minutes until the sauce thickens, otherwise it will be lumpy. Once thick, add the nutritional yeast, lemon juice, and salt. The best taste is if it sits for 20 minutes, as the milk will mellow out and the flavas will marry.

Get yo stack on!

Toast the english muffins then put on the plate with tops up. Place the tomato on the english muffins and sprinkle with smoked salt. Now place the tofu on the tomato and pour the hollandaise over the top. Use your favorite herbs to garnish (we used chives).

Now eat before your girlfriend rips your face off.

Yikes. Even photoshop didn’t help this ‘masterpiece’. Tastes like heaven though.

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One comment on “Saturday brunch: Eggless Benedict

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