Americans like duty. Duty makes us feel a part of something bigger then ourselves, allows us to selflessly preserve allegiance to a greater cause, and to demonstrate loyalty in action. Duty is what gives people extraordinary courage in the face of challenges, helps us identify with the core of our being, and explains our thirst for more Game of Thrones episodes.
Americans also love parades, binge drinking, giant hats, and bottomless chip baskets.
Thus the reason that Cinco de Mayo is an Americans fantasy (and probably the least controversial of all holidays): to commemorate the day, your duty is to gorge on all the things that you love. TRUTH TIME: how many of you actually know WHAT you are commemorating? And if you said something in Mexico, that doesn’t count.
Whatever the reason for the day, America wants you to know that we have your back Mexico (well, maybe not in Arizona). Even though most of your country doesn’t even celebrate Cinco de Mayo, we will proudly raise our right hand (that is holding a fishbowl strawberry lemon-lime blended margarita) and swear an oath of unfaltering duty to consume as much crappy versions of your food as possible while wearing an ironically large sombrero and yelling out the only few Spanish words you remember from high school Spanish class.
You’re welcome Mexico.
We commemorate you this year by combining foods that kind of resemble Mexican tacos and barely resemble italian food to become what we will call:
MELTING-POT TACO PIZZA
INGREDIENTS – CRUST (adapted from The Vegan Table):
- 1 cup warm water
- 1 envelope (2 1/2 tsp) active dry yeast
- 1 tbsp sugar
- 3 1/4 cups whole wheat bread flour (can use all-purpose)
- 1 tsp salt
- 1 tbsp olive oil, plus extra for greasing bowl
INGREDIENTS – TOPPINGS:
- 1 cup refried beans
- 1/4 cup marinera/pizza sauce
- 1 package (or to taste) soy crumbles (we used Yves)
- taco seasoning (to taste)
- 1 1/2 – 2 cups Vegan cheese (we used Daiya cheddar)
- shredded lettuce
- chopped onion
- tortilla chips (Garden of Eatin’ Pico de Gallo are da bomb!)
- taco sauce
- vegan sour cream (optional)
- guacamole (optional)
We looked up the ‘secret sauce’ in Happy Joes taco pizza, and they mixed the refried beans with pizza sauce to lay as first lay…as did we. We warmed and seasoned the crumbles on the stovetop, layering the crumbles on top next. We finally toped with vegan cheese, just ensure that you don’t overdo the cheese as it could take away from the other flavas.
Bake at 400 degrees for 25-30 minutes or until crispy crust and a fork hits a hard bottom crust when inserted into middle of pizza.
Once baked, top with shredded lettuce, onion, chips, and taco sauce. For an extra kick, add vegan sour cream and guacamole.